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  Navarro exhaled heavily. “I’m not... I’m not trying to wreck things for you or hurt you. I want you to make your decisions based on what’s real. Let’s finish rounds, and tonight I’ll take you and your boyfriend to the wall.”

  Joe had wanted to go this morning, hadn’t wanted to wait, not even for Devin to come along. He looked north and remembered the burden of the past nine years, the wonder and the hope and the disappointment. Beyond that wall was his father’s world. It could wait.

  ***

  In the deepening dark, Joe kept his focus on the pinprick hole in the base of the wall. Devin and Navarro flanked him like guardians, their shoulders level with his ears. Navarro’s foot dragged, and the cane he hadn’t seemed to need this morning got plenty of use now.

  “Jesus, this thing’s huge,” Devin said. The hood of a borrowed sweatshirt covered his hair, and with a pair of vision shields over his eyes, he shouldn’t attract too much attention. “Are they planning to be attacked by giants?”

  Navarro grunted and held his hand over Joe’s head for a high five. As Devin complied, Joe half expected him to pee his pants or sprout an erection. The crush on Navarro was awfully strong. After Joe and Navarro had come back from rounds, Navarro had roped him into helping in the exam room, too. Devin stayed underfoot, making moony eyes at Navarro and blushing every time Navarro called him Muscles. He tripped over his own feet at least twice and hovered so close to the exam table when a girl came in with lice that Navarro finally sent him away. Joe had been relieved. He didn’t begrudge Devin’s crush, but it was slightly annoying. It also reminded Joe of the way Flix treated him. Or had treated him before Marcus fell.

  Sure enough, Devin squirmed, his thick muscles twitching, and adjusted his crotch.

  Joe turned to him and whispered, “Not subtle at all.”

  Devin had the grace to look mortified, so Joe figured his work was done. Back to the wall.

  The thing really was enormous. That hole in the base had to be a doorway, though, a way through. Navarro had said people from Purcell crossed over sometimes. Joe wondered how hard it was to get in.

  As they drew closer, the setup became clearer. The hole opened over the northbound lanes of the old highway. Joe had expected American guards, but the only people moving about were a few townspeople he’d seen strolling the walkways when he and Navarro were checking on patients. The men and women held guns and faced north toward the wall like they were keeping guard, but their relaxed postures made it clear they felt no imminent threat.

  “Where are the border patrols?” Joe asked.

  Navarro shrugged. He glanced Joe’s way, but his eyes were hidden behind his vision shields. “I’ve lived here eighteen months. No one from the New America side has guarded this entrance in all that time.”

  “We just walk on through?” Devin put a slightly shaky hand on Joe’s shoulder. “It’s that easy?”

  “Nothing’s easy, Muscles. But yeah, you just walk on through.” Navarro led them right up to the deserted entrance and crossed over. Nothing happened. He turned around to face Joe and Devin, who’d stopped on the Oklahoma Territory side of the wall. “Come on. You wanted to cross.”

  God, it wasn’t that simple. Nine years of Joe’s life. Nine years. He’d visited New America in his dreams. Planned for it. Prayed for it. Given up on it. Given up on his father, too. Now Navarro wanted him to cross the line that plagued and drove him?

  Devin stepped across. Devin would. He was an American. Accepted. Embraced. Maybe the government would let Joe be a servant for his lover. Not that they could acknowledge their relationship, either.

  To stall, Joe touched the wall, gauged it. It had to be ten feet thick, though it looked like it tapered toward the top. From a distance, he’d taken it for stone, but his hand skimmed cold, smooth metal. He rapped on it. Only muffled sound replied.

  Beyond Navarro and Devin, New America stretched, as vast and empty as Oklahoma Territory. A speck of yellow light glowed in the distance. It was the only break in the bleak canvas of night.

  This couldn’t be right. “Where are the people? The towns?”

  “The light’s coming from Purcell. The real one.” Navarro gestured over his shoulder. “Not much else out here. Norman and Oklahoma City lie farther on, but I don’t know how many people are really left there. I’ve never been farther than Purcell.”

  “Then how do you know they don’t want us, Navarro?” Joe hated how petulant he sounded, how he couldn’t force his feet to move.

  Navarro came back to him. “It doesn’t take too many times being called a dirty Mexican bastard and getting shot at for the message to sink in. Are you walking over that border, or are you coming home with me?”

  Navarro didn’t wait for an answer. Joe listened to him drag that injured leg away until the sound faded and he was left alone with Devin, the wall, and the stars.

  Devin strode within Joe’s reach, craned his neck all around, and dropped a quick kiss on Joe’s lips. “It doesn’t feel real.”

  It felt plenty real to Joe. “Are we doing the right thing, papi?”

  Devin peeled off his vision shields and cupped Joe’s jaw. “Of course we are. It’s all there, our freedom.”

  “Your freedom.”

  “Our freedom.” Devin rubbed Joe’s arms from shoulder to elbow and back again. “This is where our lives really start. I can find out who I am. Maybe I have family. Like grandparents, cousins. Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

  A hollow opened inside Joe. His only hope for family was a man who’d left him behind and never come back. Devin, God, he could make a real life in New America, find where he belonged. All Devin needed Joe for was a safe way to get there.

  “It’s pretty late. We should get back to Navarro’s.” Joe took Devin’s hand and tugged him away from the north. He gazed up at the heavens, counted the stars, and prayed.

  TEN

  Three days after they’d made it to Purcell, Flix sat inside Navarro and Liliana’s cozy home and tried to feed Marcus soup.

  “I can feed myself.” Marcus reclined on the couch, his pale face shimmering with sweat. Flix had swiped the cushions off the other couch to use as bolsters and all but dragged him upright, but the exertion was too much for Marcus. His hands shook, and his pulse visibly fluttered in his thin neck.

  “You almost died,” Flix said. “I was terrified. Let me take care of you, please?”

  Marcus rolled his eyes but didn’t argue.

  Flix smiled and spooned up another bite. While Marcus slurped a broth of jalapeños and corn, Flix watched with curiosity the mating ritual of the straight male teenager.

  Peter sat at the kitchen table while Sadie worked at the stove. She stirred beans and cornmeal in a frying pan and rattled on about...well, Flix wasn’t sure what, but it sounded boring. Peter nodded his head and asked inane questions. And stared at Sadie’s butt.

  Not so different after all.

  “What are you doing?” Marcus asked.

  Flix shushed him. “I’m watching Petey make an ass of himself.”

  Marcus tilted his face toward the kitchen. When he turned around, he raised a brow. “Oh, like you do with Joe?”

  Flix put on his pretend outrage. “I do not. I happen to appreciate his leadership skills.”

  “Yeah, that is not what you appreciate about him, not unless he carries them in his back pocket.”

  True. Joe’s ass looked amazeballs. But still. “I’m not doing that anymore.”

  Marcus narrowed his eyes. “Since when?”

  “Since you fell off that highway.” Flix shuddered as the image of Marcus going over the edge played unwanted in his mind. “I aged at least ten years.”

  “You don’t think twenty-five-year-old guys check people out? I don’t wanna live that long if they don’t.”

  “Don’t even joke.” Flix worked to keep his tone playful. Maybe someday he’d want to be frivolous again. “I think middle-aged people still look. I just have different priorities now.”
>
  “Like feeding me soup? That’s dumbass, Fae.”

  No, it wasn’t. And Marcus hadn’t used that nickname since they’d been pointy-eared eight-year-olds. Flix wasn’t biting.

  Someone knocked on the door. Flix set the soup bowl on the small table behind Marcus and headed for the entry while Peter dashed into the bedroom where Devin napped. Liliana had told them that Devin and Peter were to stay out of sight when visitors came to the house. Flix didn’t see what it mattered since everyone in town had to know they were here.

  He opened the door and Sanders pushed past him, supporting an injured man. Blood spurted from just above the man’s knee, drenching his torn pants and spattering the floor.

  “Navarro!” Sanders yelled. “Navarro!”

  Navarro and Joe burst from the back hallway. Navarro took one look and scowled. “God damn it. Take him in the back. Now.” He turned on his heel, and Sanders followed him.

  Joe watched them go, then put a hand on Flix’s shoulder. “You know the drill.”

  Flix nodded, then hurtled down the hall and into a bedroom.

  Inside it, Devin rolled onto his side on the bed and rubbed his eyes. His breathing was heavy, and his t-shirt sleeves were shoved up to his shoulders. Flix knew Devin’s recovery from the trek was taking a while. He’d pushed himself hard to get Marcus to Purcell.

  Quickly, Flix filled them in on what he’d seen. “Do you think we should be worried?”

  Devin ran a hand through his hair and stretched. “When aren’t we worried? At least here, we have Navi and Lil to look out for us.”

  Flix had hoped this town would provide safety, a place for Marcus to heal. Guys with guns and threats and bloody legs weren’t what he’d had in mind. “I need to get back to Marcus.”

  The door burst open, and Sadie rushed through. She barreled over Flix, sending him back a few steps.

  He grabbed her sturdy arms to keep from falling over. She studied his face, like she was seeing him properly for the first time. Maybe her vision was really that bad.

  “Sorry, Flix.”

  Flix dropped his hold on her, and she scooted onto the bed with Devin, at least until he hopped off it and held a pillow up to cover his underwear. Despite his earlier need to get back to Marcus, Flix found himself curious about whatever gossip Sadie might have. He peeked to make sure Marcus was fine, then closed the door and locked it.

  “So is this a secret meeting, or what?” Sadie leaned toward Devin and scrunched her nose. “You really don’t need to hide, Muscles. Navi walks around in his boxers all the time, and he’s practically my dad.”

  “I have a name,” Devin said. He nodded toward Flix. “Toss my pants, will you, Junior?”

  Flix grumbled at the irony but retrieved Devin’s jeans from a chair and threw them over.

  Sadie watched with far too much interest as Devin struggled hurriedly to dress, his pants catching on his big feet and getting twisted over his heavily muscled thighs.

  Flix didn’t envy Devin the weight of her stare, but he did find it pretty amusing.

  “Lili says that just because someone was a prostitute doesn’t mean they want to be ogled.” Sadie pushed her glasses up her nose. “I’m not trying to be rude. I’m curious, is all. And you don’t mind when Navi calls you Muscles.”

  Devin’s pale gold skin turned pink from his neck to his ears. Oh, that was funny, especially after all the shit he’d given Flix about his crush on Joe.

  Flix couldn’t make himself be nasty about it, though, and his good humor evaporated quickly. “Why did you come in, Sadie?”

  “I’m nosy and have poor impulse control. Also, I finished dinner.”

  Peter laughed and sat next to Sadie. “I bet it tastes amazing.”

  Devin shook his head and crossed the room to stand next to Flix. He folded his arms over his chest and asked Sadie, “Do you know the guy that Sanders brought in?”

  “Not really. He’s one of the Sons. They were out doing a raid in New America last night. Must’ve run into someone with a weapon. It happens sometimes.”

  Peter’s mouth dropped open like Sadie had popped out kittens. “How did you know what they were doing?”

  “My sister’s one of them. Do you really think I don’t talk to her?”

  Flix shook his head. “But the other night at dinner, you said —”

  Sadie waved her arm dismissively. “I say what Lili and Navi want to hear. Aria’s my sister, and even if I think she’s horrible right now, I’m not writing her off. I hate the Sons because of how they hurt Navi, but they’re right, trying to get back some of what we lost when the United States folded.”

  Peter nodded like a sycophant. If he knew what Sadie meant, he was a lot smarter than he’d given any indication of so far.

  Flix squinted, turned to Devin, and mouthed, “What?”

  “So, Sadie” — Devin rested his forearm on Flix’s shoulder — “how’d the Sons hurt Navarro? And what did you lose when the United States stopped being a country?”

  “It was awful.” Sadie plucked Peter’s hand from the bed and threaded their fingers. “The Sons tried to recruit Navi, only he didn’t want to do it. He said he wouldn’t be a terrorist, wouldn’t hurt people. He and Aria fought about it. She said he was weak. That if he was a better man who had some pride he’d fight for what was his. He said she didn’t understand the first thing about pride. So she said if he wouldn’t join, she would. She left and hasn’t lived here since.”

  “Okay, so...” Flix tried and failed to see how that explained Navarro’s injury.

  “And the next night” — Sadie took her time, almost like she enjoyed the audience — “the next night, there was a knock on the door. Lili wasn’t home. I opened the door, thinking it was someone sick or hurt. Sanders and a couple of his men came in with Aria. One of them pinned me to the wall. Navi came out of his office and they attacked him. Held him down.”

  Devin groaned. Flix didn’t want to hear more.

  But Sadie didn’t seem to want to stop. A tear dripped from her eye, and Flix realized she wasn’t enjoying herself. She was pausing because she couldn’t keep it together.

  “They handed Aria the cane, and she hit him in the knee over and over. She cried the whole time, but she did it. When it was finished, she said she loved him but she didn’t respect him.” Sadie laid her head on Peter’s shoulder and wiped her nose with her hand. “Navi’s important. He’s the only person we’ve come across with medical training. They couldn’t kill him, not without risking the support of the town.”

  Flix dropped to the floor and rested his back against the wall. This was too much. He knew, understood even, hurting others to survive, but to do it over nonsense like ideals? Devin sat heavily next to him, and Flix was surprised by how comforting it was to have him close.

  After a long silence, Devin cleared his throat. “Sadie, what did you lose when the United States folded?”

  Peter glared at him. “They lost the chip. Don’t be so insensitive.”

  What? Flix turned again to Devin, who was rubbing his hip, looking lost in thought. “What are you talking about?”

  “Around twenty years ago,” Peter said, “the United States and Canada decided to form a new union to pool their dwindling resources. New America was formed.” He sounded like he was reciting something he’d memorized.

  “I know.” Flix had learned about the Reformation in second grade.

  “I’m not done,” Peter snapped. “In order to conserve resources, New America limited its citizenship. It was decided that genetically superior humans would maintain their citizenship status and the inferior groups would become Secondary citizens and no longer be fitted with the chip.”

  “What chip?” Flix had long ago realized that the white people thought they were better. He knew he wasn’t a citizen of New America. It made sense. He didn’t live in New America. But he’d never heard of a Secondary citizen or a chip.

  “We’re fitted with an identification chip in
our bones,” Peter said. “Citizens. We have rights. You don’t. Not that they’d give you any rights anyway since you’re a plastic boy, but still. Old people like Navarro had their chips deactivated when they were deemed Secondaries, which don’t legally exist anymore. I don’t know about Joe. He was probably born after. But I bet Devin’s got a chip. People born in the territories still get them. They just have to be the right people.” Peter clamped his mouth shut. In a much gentler voice, he said, “The government is wrong, Sadie. There’s nothing inferior about you.”

  “Just me, huh, Petey?” Flix didn’t even try to keep the bitterness from his tone. He rested his head against the wall and sighed. Why even bother going north? He wasn’t wanted. Hadn’t been wanted by his mother. Wasn’t wanted now.

  He turned his head to see what Devin thought. The guy’s boyfriend was in the same boat as Flix. Devin had to be furious.

  So close, Devin’s pale blue eyes made Flix think of lightning. Freckles dotted his nose and cheeks. He tilted his head and frowned.

  And Flix thought about the way Devin had rubbed his hip. “You knew, didn’t you?”

  “Not until Joe told me. He said...”

  Flix stopped listening. Joe knew. He had known, and he’d let Flix and Marcus come on this stupid trip north anyway. Let them go thirsty and hungry. Almost burned them up. Let Marcus fall. Flix’s throat hurt and his vision blurred. He stumbled to his feet and wrenched open the door. He’d been so naive.

  Somehow, he made it down the hall. Marcus had spilled his soup trying to feed himself, so Flix ladled out another bowlful and started over. He didn’t know what else to do.

  ***

  Devin toweled dry the large ceramic platter that had held the arroz con frijoles they’d eaten for dinner. By the dim light of the lone solar-powered lamp, he returned the platter to the cabinet and drained the sink. He wiped his hands on his pants and sighed as he watched Joe and Navarro sit at the table and argue.

  After more than a week in Purcell, Devin’s patience was running out. Something about that wall had spooked Joe. They hadn’t returned to the border since their first visit.